Katie LaPotin, Red Alert Politics, March 5, 2014
Leave it to Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert to provide humor to a history lesson about the crisis in Ukraine and the difficult relationship between the United States and Russia.
“The Colbert Report” host opened up his show Tuesday night with a segment on the region, which has faced internal strife and civil unrest over the past few weeks as protestors hoping to modernize the former U.S.S.R. state. The protests have already led to the ouster of former President Viktor Yanukoyvch and the establishment of a new government.
In a new segment entitled “Better Know A Geopolitical Flashpoint” (akin to his “Better Know A District” political series), Colbert described the history of “Ukraine’s ballsac” – a.k.a. the Crimean peninsula – where much of the fighting is taking place. According to the faux conservative, at one point Crimea was run by the goths, the subject of a Lord Alfred Tennyson poem, and also ceded back from Russia to Ukraine in 1954 in an agreement involving a bottle of Stoli.
Colbert then discussed the latest “Cold War Update” between the United States and Russia, despite taking the time to answer his “shoe phone” and tell the person who called to “leave a message with his other foot.” Expressing his worry (and excitement) that “Obama may be in way over his head” when dealing with Russian President Vladimir Putin over the crisis in Ukraine, Colbert suggests that the Democrat buck up and prove he’s a man.
“Obama needs to immediately do something ‘manly’ – maybe a one-armed push-up or carve a canoe or invade a foreign country,” he said. “How about Iraq? Third time’s the charm.”
Colbert then went on to accuse the president of being “outplayed” by Putin, particularly when it comes to wardrobe choices.
“Right now the President of the United States is being outplayed,” he continued. “Look at what he wore Saturday during a tense 90-minute phone call with Vladimir Putin: no tie, jeans with a jean shirt. What is this, casual doomsday? Meanwhile, on the other end you know Putin’s shirtless, stroking a tiger, looking into an infinity mirror.”
The Comedy Central host wasn’t too thrilled with how Obama response following the phone call, either: Sending in a drone — a.k.a. Secretary of State John Kerry.
Watch the segment in full below.